Semi Functionable Chaos
by nhannah
Summary: Red plus pink equals an undeniable mess. The same thing, it seems, goes when two headstrong, short tempered people come together. If these people were, say, Haruno Sakura and Subaku no Gaara, would that make things any less chaotic? [GaaSaku]
1. Arrangements

**Disclaimer: **She who owns nothing would definitely _not _own Naruto.

**Author's Note: **I'm... worried. Its my first time writing a GaaSaku, and although I've read LOADS of fanfics all ready, I still don't think I'm ready to start on one. I'm still a new fan of the series, see, and although I have read about ten volumes (not chapters, VOLUMES) of the manga, I'm still not very familiar with the characters. I sure hope it turns out right.

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**Semi-Functionable Chaos**

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Chapter I: Arrangements

Lithe, nimble fingers ran through the pile of thickly, and rather sloppishly, piled folders, pausing once so often whenever the jade eyes that scanned through said folders spotted something interesting or out of the ordinary. The host of such keen eyes and sensitive fingers was named Haruno Sakura; one of Konoha's most beautiful and talented medic nins. The fact that she was also the apprentice for Tsunade-sama, Fifth Hokage of the Hidden Leaf, made her all the more sought-after.

'Sakura-sama!' cried a feminine voice, startling said Sakura out of her weary afternoon trance.

Spinning around, pink tresses bouncing energetically against her sinewy shoulders, Sakura focused her brilliant jade eyes on the person who had called out for her. 'Yes?' asked the pink-haired medic as she inspected her caller politely. A small woman, short, thin and young, stammered as she looked up into the jade eyes of her superior.

'Umm...' said the timid nurse, blinking rapidly as though only then processing the light of the situation – she, the new little nurse, was talking to the Haruno Sakura, reknowned medic nin and apprentice to the one and only Hokage-sama! – before taking a deep breath and proclaiming in a flurry of abrupt sentences that, 'Hokage-sama would like to see you right away!'

Sakura nodded politely, a small, albeit honest smile gracing her thin, pink lips, the colour of which matched her hair most accurately.

Upon reaching her destination, Sakura was glad to see that for once in a very, very long time, her superior, Tsunade, was in a (partly) sober condition.

'Sakura,' breathed the Hokage, leaning serenely into her posh arm-chair, watching as her student bowed before her with a calculative eye. 'There is something I've been meaning to talk with you about.'

Haruno Sakura nodded, completely focused and ready for business.

'A very important person from Suna is arriving here tomorrow,' announced Tsunade, her position still admirably well-rested and comfortable. 'The new Kazekage from Sand. We would like to make some business arrangements regarding the settlement of our two nations. Sakura, I need you to assist me in the matter of his stay in Konoha – the Kazekage needs to be very comfortable and pleased with life in our village if any arrangements are to take place. It is very important that you do _everything _and _anything _in your power to make his stay _perfect_ – am I clear?'

Sakura nodded, encouraging her superior to continue, 'I should warn you, though, Sakura... The Kazekage of Sand is a very proud man. He likes to consider himself... above other people. He is not the type for social interaction; however, I believe it would be a great addition if you put some effort into... easing that problem up a little.'

Sakura nodded her agreement. 'I'll do my best to lighten him up.'

'Good!' said Tsunade, a small smile forming as she studied her apprentice with a most unreadable expression on her face. 'Astound him with that hundred-watt smile of yours. Be friendly and patient. Consider this... a personal mission for yourself.'

Nodding for the third time in a row, Sakura almost motioned for the door, before a thought struck her, causing her to spin in the direction of her senpai. 'Tsunade-sama?' started the girl. 'What exactly is the name of this new Kazekage I will be meeting?'

For the longest stretch of time, the room of the Fifth Hokage of Konoha was eerily silent; not a word was uttered until a creepy smile had crept up the corners of Tsunade's lips, causing Sakura to raise a brow of suspician and the Hokage to reply...

'Subaku no Gaara.'

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A pair of jade eyes; so similar to those of Konoha's talented young medic nin; twitched irritably as a gust of wind blew roughly against his form, spraying sand against his dark-rimmed eyes. 

'_**Nice day for a walk.'**_

Subaku no Gaara growled at his inner demon before lifting his sand-guard higher and continuing to trudge angrily through the dry, scorching desert.

It was hot – no doubt about it – but the young man known as Gaara, weilder of the infamous, blood-thirsty demon Shukaku, and newly-appointed Kazekage of Suna managed to overcome the heavy conditions of his own desert heat without breaking a sweat. He had been walking for three hours; his sand-guard, of course, doing nothing but weighing him down for the time being. His supply of water was scarce and untouched.

'_**Do you really find it necessary to strengthen a bond with such weak a nation?'**_

'_Yes,' _hissed Gaara, as a reply to the ever-petulant Shukaku, hoping against hope that for once, his demon would accept his short replies and _shut _the _hell __**up.**_

But of course, nothing was that simple around Shukaku. When not ripping to shreds the innards of an unfortunate opposition, Shukaku seemed to take up the duty of annoying Gaara to heart. It was a sluggish, difficult job; but, hey, _someone _had to do it!

'_**Those idiot leaf nin are nothing but nuisances to us. We would be doing them a favor if we were to kill them all off.'**_

'_No!' _snapped Gaara, inwardly, to his demon, with as much menace he could afford during such a hot, tiring and undeniably restless day. _'I am good now. Naruto has taught me that. I don't __**do **__massacres anymore.'_

Before Shukaku could think up a suitable retort to twist his way into Gaara's own mixed-up mind, the Sand nin had all ready focused his chakra on forming blockades and tuning the beast out – a method he had taken ages to learn from his previous sensei. For a fair length of time, the method had worked, but after about two hours of tuning his own demon out, Shukaku had found a way of squeezing through the gaps of his technique and continued his previous ranting of how teaming up with a bunch of leaf shinobi would only be a waste of time.

Feeling cross and depleted of stamina, Gaara could not summon up the energy to block Shukaku from his mind once more. Thus, with a heavy sigh of surrender, poor Subaku no Gaara continued on his way to the Hidden Leaf Village, Konoha, all the while thinking to himself, _'This is going to be one hell of a journey.'_

Little did Gaara of the Sand know that the journey itself was only beginning – only when he would arrive in Konoha and meet with his assigned tour-guide would the _real _trouble begin.

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**Author's Note: **Yep! I have NO idea whether I've gotten the titles down right. I have no idea if the characters are in character. I have no idea as to what I've just done. Heh... as the title goes, "Semi Functionable Chaos", right? (bonks self in head) Yeah, well... just review! It'll help. Love it, hate it – just don't bash the pairing. I'm all up for intelligent comments, though. 

REVIEW!


	2. First Impressions

**Author's Note: **4 REVIEWS – only?! Have you any idea how frustrating it is to receive a few hundred hits, and only four reviews?! Its madness, I tell you! Now, this story was merely updated out of the kindness of my heart, and my four wonderful reviewers, BUT, this is the last time I will do so. The next time I don't reach a number of atleast 8 reviews, I _shall NOT continue!_

Anyways, read on. And review.

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Chapter II: First Impressions

_Okay, Haruno. You can do this. Breathe in. Its just Gaara, right? You're a kunoichi, you should be able to do anything! After all, Gaara..._

'_**...did try to kill you,' **_added Inner Sakura, a little too perky for her host's own liking. _**'But, hey! That's old news. All you've got to really do is stay on his good side, and maybe you won't find yourself decapitated the next day!'**_

Sakura grimaced at the mental image her second half had given her before quickly pushing all thoughts of cowardice aside and forcing on a stern, practical face. _'You can do this, Sakura,' _she chanted, softly to herself, forming a slow mantra as to ease her own twittering nerves. _'Its just Gaara... just Gaara... Subaku no Gaara...'_

Brushing away a few stray pink tresses from falling over her eyes, young Haruno Sakura took another deep breath before swiftly masking her fear with a confident, perky look – complete with dazzling smile and all.

'You must be Subaku no Gaara, Kazekage of Suna!' chirped Sakura, merrily, as she greeted her exhaust-ridden guest with the brightest of grins. 'Welcome to Konoha! I'm Haruno Sakura, and I'll be your tour-guide during your stay!'

From his worn-out, slumped over position on the ground, Subaku no Gaara inspected his assigned tour-guide thoroughly – she had, at the moment, breath-taking jade orbs, the same shade as his, albeit with a little more sparkle, and a lot more life. Gaara could tell, that just by looking closely at her, that this, "Sakura", was one to put her heart to her sleeves. The twinkle in her eyes told him all; and, at the moment, she seemed to be masking a feeling of fear and awkwardness...

Gaara frowned. _'Then again, who wouldn't?' _he thought, mentally shoving the whispers of violence and gore that Shukaku had been sending him.

'Where is your Hokage? I would like to deal with matters as quickly as possible,' spoke Gaara, surprising the fake smile off Sakura's face for speaking for the first time.

'Gomen, Kazekage-sama,' replied Sakura, politely bowing before him as a sign of respect. 'But the Hokage is rather busy at the moment. She suggests you take your time and settle down, before jumping straight into business.'

'Hn,' said Gaara. 'When then can we meet?'

'The Hokage has scheduled your first meeting to be held early tomorrow, after breakfast, sir,' Sakura replied professionally, her face still brimming with fake cheeriness, her eyes blinked shut as though reading through a practiced speech. 'The Kazekage has also assigned you a tour during your stay here in our humble village.'

'Are you my assigned tour-guide?'

'Yep!'

'I shall pass.'

At this he turned, unhindered by the feeling of Sakura's sharp eyes glaring holes through his back. He had felt such a feeling before, by many a people. Upon accustoming himself to such looks, he had pretty much predicted what was coming next: she, just like the rest of the people, would perhaps spin the opposite direction and begin to stomp angrily away, muttering insolent curses in his favor. It was human nature to react such a way to something they did not...

BAM!

The ground shuddered beneath his feet, as if reacting to a violent force, and had almost managed to trip him if it wasn't for Shukaku's quick reflexes. Startled by the sudden turn of events, Subaku no Gaara, youngest Kazekage Suna had ever bred, whirled around, back to meeting the (now smug) gaze of the pink-haired young woman.

'Oops,' she said, with sheepiness she had purposely forgotten. 'So sorry about that, Kazekage-sama, but sometimes I forget my own strength.'

If said Kazekage-sama owned an eyebrow, they would have probably been raised with suspicion by now – it wasn't everyday you discovered a kunoichi daring enough to stomp her foot at him and not properly apologize about it.

'Now about that tour...?'

By now, Shukaku had dropped his state of mild shock to continue harassing his usually impassive host once again. Whispers of, _'Kill her, that insolent fool', 'How dare she mock us!' _and the ever-popular, _'The citizens of this stupid town wouldn't dare flutter an eye if she were found dead!' _ran through his mind, but surprisingly, even after his tiring journey, Gaara did not feel moved by any of them.

Too preoccupied by the fact that such a weak looking woman had managed to almost make him fall, and even more startling the fact that he had managed to ignore Shukaku without feeling the slightest bit of temptation, Gaara did not realized he was being dragged forcefully by the arm by one satisfied-looking kunoichi, her chakra-infused fist practically popping one of his veins.

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'And this is the famous Ichiraku Ramen shop where Naruto and I always go to!'

'Hn.'

It had been like this for a while now. At first, he almost found her fake-enthusiasm rather amusing, but after having been forcefully tugged throughout the town like a human-sized Subaku no Gaara doll, he had to admit, it was getting kind of frustrating. The boulder-sized sand guard and the fact that he had hardly gotten any rest throughout the entire journey was just another one of those, "added bonuses".

'...they serve the best seafood...'

'Enough, kunoichi!' cried Gaara atlast, halting the blabbering woman mid-sentence. He was sweaty, grimy, weary, hungry and restless, and, by God, he deserved to cry out that last sentence! 'Please... take me to my room so I can rest in peace.'

Sakura was surprised, to say the least, both by the fact that Gaara had used the word "please" in a sentence, and the uncharacteristic show of emotion. 'Of course, Kazekage-sama, I will gladly bring you to your—,' but something, bright and orange, with a head-full of unruly blonde hair had caught her attention, rendering her eyes from the stony-face Kazekage and onto her dear friend.

'Naruto!' she cried, leaving her assigned subject to stand, blinking, in his place. The pink-haired kunoichi squealed, embracing her fried and fellow team-mate in a warm, welcoming hug. 'Its been a while! How was the mission?'

'No sweat, Sakura-chan,' said Naruto, hugging her with force to rival that of Konoha's famous Green Beast. '...but, I still think it would be a lot quicker if you had come along. Kakashi-sensei isn't exactly the talkative type, ne?'

The Haruno giggled, nodding all the while.

'Ne... Sakura-chan...? What have you been up to?'

Gaara watched as the kunoichi before him seemed to jump in surprise, and spin both Naruto and herself to face him, as if just realizing his existance.

'Gaara!' cried Naruto, beaming at the red-head.

Gaara simply nodded.

'What are you doing here?' continued the happy, smiling-faced fox-boy, not bothering to lower his voice in public and seemingly oblivious to the stares focused their way. 'And whatcha doing with my Sakura-chan?'

Gaara's face remained impassive, momentarily forgetting his heavy guard and restless condition around the fox-boy. 'I am here to discuss pressing matters with your Hokage, concerning the relation of our two countries,' he said, before nodding stiffly at Sakura to properly complete Naruto's questions. 'She is my advised tour-guide.'

'Really, Sakura-chan?!' cried Naruto, sounding as if such a position was the most interesting in the world. 'Oh, cool! I can help! We can start with--,'

Luckily for Gaara, his real tour-guide interfered with Naruto's enthusiasm. 'Sorry, Naruto,' she said, raising a long arm to block his path, like a superior would his lap-dog. Gaara hid his amusement well beneath that cool expression of his. 'but the Kazekage is weary from his trip from Suna. I have to assist him in retiring for now.'

Naruto nodded, still smiling, a agreement. 'Okay, Gaara! I'll just come over to help Sakura-chan with her tour tomorrow! It'll be great, 'tebayo!'

Gaara gave the two a sort-of crooked smile of reassurance, just as Shukaku hissed in his ears, _**'I told you we should have killed them...', **_and, for a while there, Gaara almost agreed.

Something told him that tomorrow was not going to be anymore peaceful.

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**Author's Note: **Yes, yes, I know, the boring-est chapter in the history of the universe, 'aite? Well, I'm really not in the mood to continue at the moment, and, whats more, the number of reviews for my last chapter weren't exactly... appeasing enough... for any juicy bits. Anyways, please reach my review target next time if you want me to continue! I'm telling you, this story was updated at all merely due to the kindness of my heart. There aren't many GaaSaku out there, and if you want to read on, I suggest you **REVIEW.**

Review Target for this chapter: 8, at LEAST.


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